This is a battle we live in. And I'm headed to a place where I'm going to be attacked more than I have ever been. This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm going to be sent to the front lines. I can feel it in my heart. And I'm terrified...
But no. I will not sink into these haunting thoughts. I cannot. I will not. Besides what have I to fear? As I ride into this war my Commander rides with me. He commands the heavens, and the stars, and the earth beneath my feet. My Commanding Officer is the King of Angel Armies, who can stand against that? I need not fear. My path will not be easy and the way will be rough, but I can face anything that comes my way, because my Commander rides with me.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Reminiscing
I found one of the thing I wrote while I was at YWAM last time, and found it very encouraging, and a great reminder at the pull I had felt to return as a student. This is what I wrote:
"July 30, 2011 7:00am, Saturday, Kona, Hawaii
This week is such a confusing blur to me, so I'm hoping that somehow I can write it all out and get it all out of my system. The presence of God is amazing here, but the one thing that keeps it from being heaven is that even though God is so strong, you can still feel the evil one and still be tempted by him. I feel so natural here and so normal. I feel like all of my life, THIS is the home I've been looking for. I feel like everything has lead up to THIS place. Especially my restlessness these past few years. I can't imagine being away from this place for too long, but after today I will have to leave for a year, before I can come back. I feel no fear here, none whatsoever. I could walk around by myself at midnight or later and still not be afraid. This base is not only the closest thing to heaven on this earth its a haven, a citadel like no other I've experienced before. I came out here expecting to grow closer to God, and to get to know my team and to have a blast being able to be in Hawaii again. All that happened and so SO much more. In this place I've had someone see through me as I've done to others, I have screamed God's name in praise and felt my heart and entire world tremble under the power of His love. I've cried the happiest tears in the two worship sessions, and I've finally felt God fully and been able to know what he desires me to do. My problems aren't fixed, and neither am I, but I'm so much closer and I now know its possible once again to heal from my diseases. Thank you God for bringing me to this place! and for putting a calling on my heart to come back."
"July 30, 2011 7:00am, Saturday, Kona, Hawaii
This week is such a confusing blur to me, so I'm hoping that somehow I can write it all out and get it all out of my system. The presence of God is amazing here, but the one thing that keeps it from being heaven is that even though God is so strong, you can still feel the evil one and still be tempted by him. I feel so natural here and so normal. I feel like all of my life, THIS is the home I've been looking for. I feel like everything has lead up to THIS place. Especially my restlessness these past few years. I can't imagine being away from this place for too long, but after today I will have to leave for a year, before I can come back. I feel no fear here, none whatsoever. I could walk around by myself at midnight or later and still not be afraid. This base is not only the closest thing to heaven on this earth its a haven, a citadel like no other I've experienced before. I came out here expecting to grow closer to God, and to get to know my team and to have a blast being able to be in Hawaii again. All that happened and so SO much more. In this place I've had someone see through me as I've done to others, I have screamed God's name in praise and felt my heart and entire world tremble under the power of His love. I've cried the happiest tears in the two worship sessions, and I've finally felt God fully and been able to know what he desires me to do. My problems aren't fixed, and neither am I, but I'm so much closer and I now know its possible once again to heal from my diseases. Thank you God for bringing me to this place! and for putting a calling on my heart to come back."
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